How I Survived the Lifestyle of a Product Manager as an Introvert
“I am rarely bored alone; I am often bored in groups and crowds.” — Laurie Helgoe
When I first started working as a Product Manager, the number of meetings on my calendar jumped from a few to a few hundred.
That’s not factually true, but that’s how it felt like.
Before product, I was a designer or an engineer, so most of the work happened in a collaboration between me and my computer.
Then, suddenly, I was expected to interact with stakeholders left and right. An overflow of meetings, requests, questions, and fires to put out. For an introvert, this was very overwhelming.
Introversion doesn’t necessarily mean being shy or socially awkward, it is about where the energy comes from. Introverts often become drained from highly stimulating environments (read: meetings) and need time alone to recharge.
It might seem like introverts aren’t suited for the life of product managers, but that’s not true. Introverts have unique strengths like listening, deep thinking, and attention to detail, which can make us very successful PMs. We just need to learn how to manage our energy well.
There are two challenges to making the Product Manager lifestyle work as an introvert:
- Determining where the limits and boundaries are — e.g. figuring out how much interaction is okay before the battery runs out.
- Making those boundaries work in real life — e.g. figuring out how to align personal needs with the expectations of the environment in a way that everyone wins. This may require some creative problem-solving.
Some may feel like it is selfish or unprofessional to set boundaries for one’s time and energy — after all, collaboration is part of the job and what we’re getting paid for.
But I think of it like putting on the oxygen mask in the airplane before helping others. If I burn out because I’m not taking care of myself, I can’t do my job and serve others.
Securing my well-being is part of my job.
7 rules for survival
It took me some time to figure out my limits and how to make them work. Not perfectly (yet), but I’ve come a long way from where I started.
Rule #1: No more than two hours of meetings in a row without a break
For an introvert, the cost of a meeting is not only the time spent in a meeting but also the time it takes to recharge afterward.
My red line draws at 3 hours: if I am in meetings for more than three hours in a row without a break, my mental battery will be depleted, and it can take me another 3–6 hours just to recover.
However, if I have scheduled in breaks every 1-2 hours, I regain my productivity quite quickly.
Rule #2: Schedule your most important work for when you’re the most productive
Product managers must typically balance the schedules of makers and managers: we require time for both focused work and collaboration.
When the calendar becomes heavily skewed to one side or the other, some parts of the work will suffer: spending too much time in meetings means there’s not enough time for individual contributions; but if we do not spend enough time with stakeholders, then our relationships start deteriorating.
There needs to be a healthy balance.
That’s why I’ve blocked off all mornings for the important work that requires my full attention, and have left afternoons for meetings, socialising, and one-off tasks.
Not only does that allow me get focused work done (mostly) uninterrupted, it also puts a limit on how many meetings can fit into any given day.
Rule #3: Decline meetings that break rules #1 and #2.
If someone tries to schedule a meeting that breaks rules #1 and #2, I politely ask them to find a new time or write to me instead. There are instances where it is not possible, but in the majority of cases, not really a big problem.
Another trick: I also volunteer to schedule meetings myself. That may seem like admin work, but it is really an opportunity to control where meetings land in my calendar. If I can then choose between a time that works for me and a time that doesn’t… it is an easy choice.
Rule #4: Align calendars with the people you work the most frequently with
Deciding on personal boundaries is way easier than executing them.
Most common friction comes from the regular team meetings that can be all over the place for historical “that was the only slot that worked for everyone back in 2018” reason.
Calendars can be designed just like teamwork.
Almost everyone values having uninterrupted time, so it is highly likely that with just a little collective effort, it is possible to come up with schedule improvements that work for everyone, not just you.
For example, with one product team, we started doing standups right before lunch, at 11:45 am. That worked with the natural workflow of the team, including the one engineer who was usually late in the mornings, but also for the engineer who came earlier than others and was then interrupted by the early standup.
In another team, we moved some meetings from the middle of the day to the end of the day, where information-sharing and chatting felt nicer than during peak productivity hours.
And for a third team we were able to rearrange our meetings in a way that both me and the designer ended up getting an additional meeting free day altogether.
Rule #5: Replace meetings with workshops
It is easy to make meetings with the villains of organizational productivity. However, not all meetings are bad.
For me, it is the unpredictability and inefficiency of large group meetings that drain the battery.
One-on-one meetings and structured conversations don’t have the same effect. In fact, making good progress in a group setting can be very energising.
That’s why the best meetings are workshops: workshops have goals, a structure and ways for everyone to participate.
Workshops take an additional time to prepare compared to traditional meetings, but if done well, they also speed up progress and decision-making reducing the number of meetings in a team overall.
Rule #6: Find the root cause if there’s an overflow of meetings
There will always be exceptional times when there’s no other choice than to buckle up and power through whatever is thrown at you. Especially if it is wartime and the organisation is going through major changes.
But if even during peacetime there is a constant overflow of meetings, I take it as a symptom of a problem that needs discovering.
- Perhaps I’ve committed to more work than is reasonable, and some work needs to be put off or delegated
- Perhaps some processes, decision-making or prioritisation procedures are malfunctioning, and that inefficiency ends up producing more work/meetings than would be necessary in an optimized team/organisation
- Perhaps there is a lack of trust (either from my side or towards me) and meetings serve as an easy — but also inefficient — method for exerting control
Whatever the reason, taking time to analyze the root cause of ‘too much meetings’ helps to design a solution that cures the underlying illness instead of just manages the symptoms.
Rule #7 — Look for ways to multiply your time
Rory Vaden talks in his Ted Talk about how to become a time multiplier.
While most people make decisions based on urgency and importance, multipliers make a calculation based on significance.
If urgency is how soon something matters, importance is how much it matters, then significance is how long it is going to matter.
Instead of asking “What’s the most important thing I can do today?” multipliers ask “What can I do today that would make tomorrow better?”
It means giving yourself the permission to spend time today on things that will earn you time back tomorrow.
Keywords here being automation, delegation and concentration of work.
It may very well take you few hours to reflect on your needs and make necessary changes. But if that effort gets you 2 hours back each week, you will be net positive in a few weeks and save 8 hours every month going forward.
And if you use some of that saved time to make another set of time-multiplying changes, it will add up like compound interest.
You don’t have to be an introvert to feel overwhelmed by the constant overflow of meetings and tasks.
It may take a bit of creativity and negotiation, but it is possible to take care of yourself while still doing a good job. You just have to give yourself the time and permission to do things today that will give you back time, energy, or sanity tomorrow.
After all, if you don’t put on the oxygen mask yourself, who will?
PS! If you don’t know where to start, take a look at The Collaborator’s Time Audit—it’s a time optimisation exercise specifically for those who need to balance between collaboration and focused work, like Product Managers.
