Product management skills: what is this “influence” that everyone speaks of — and how can you get it?

I think most experienced PMs will immediately identify and relate with this topic — its been drilled into our heads that one of the key traits for success in product is “influence without authority”. Everywhere you turn — there is someone talking about how important “influence” is to success as a product manager.

On the face of it — this can be intimidating. The word “influence” can often conjure up images of debate club, where the most articulate and persuasive speaker often carries the day. In the work-place — this can translate to who takes up more air-time in meetings and can make their points while sounding strategic, visionary and persuasive all at the same time. The strongest personality, the loudest voice carries the day.

The good news is that influence is not only about persuasive public speaking — goes much deeper than that, and everyone can do it with the right mindset.

Lets get into it — what is this “influence” everyone speaks of? Why is it important, who are you influencing and how?

Who are you influencing and why?

• In most companies — the key parts of the product team — specially design, data science and engineering don’t report to the product manager. They all have their own agenda’s and pet peeves e.g. engineers want to build things the right way without tech debt even if that takes longer, some designers are hesitant to put a stake in the ground without a bunch of research and testing, data scientists don’t like agile etc etc. (BTW — these are total hypotheticals and gross generalizations — but you get the point). How do you keep all these disparate parts of the team with talented and mercurial individuals marching to the same tune?
• PMs often need to work with other key groups critical for product success — marketing, finance, operations, brand etc. — again, all with their own agenda’s, priorities and goals
• PMs need to constantly prove the value of their product to senior stakeholders — to get funding for new initiatives or stay funded for existing in-market products

How to think about “influencing” these various groups and stakeholders?

1. Lead with the strength of your ideas: In my mind, thought leadership is one of the best ways to influence. There is a long game and short game here. The long game starts with a compelling vision for your product that you rally and inspire the entire organization around. Ultimately if there is a shared vision and as importantly shared sense for how to measure success — all the key groups will stay aligned and pointed in the right direction. The short game is around influencing people on specific decisions which can happens daily. Thought leadership here involves relentlessly and rigorously leading the thinking on every option, pros / cons, implications, risks, level of effort etc. Leading the thinking on any decision puts you in the pole position to be able to influence the decision in a way that aligns with your long term vision.
2. Think “negotiation” instead of conflict: I think of myself as being extremely conflict averse, so changing the framing around any difference in opinion as a negotiation instead of a conflict really helped me get over the mental block I had around this. The word “conflict” conjures up images of a fight where the stronger, louder, more well connected person gets to carry the day. A “negotiation” on the other hand is an intellectual exercise — where two parties assume positive intent and try to find common ground on things that they can agree on. For me at least — this is a much better way of working (and in-fact — living)
3. Try to influence early, often and before people’s mind’s are made up: On a related note — I’ve often found that its easier to help people make up their mind instead of changing their mind. Changing a decision that’s already been made often involves egos — people often don’t want to admit that the previous decision was sub-optimal or not well thought through, and may get entrenched in their position due to their ego. Its usually better to start the dialog early before people have taken their positions. In a situation that does involve getting people to change minds — offer “off-ramps” i.e. good reasons for the change, that lets the person save face. This could come in the form of new information that you offer, or some new way to think about the problem — but also through the words that you choose for the conversation.
4. Build long term relationships, not just transactional ones: Its often tempting to win every debate and have every decision go your way. This can work if it’s a one-time game you’re playing with the people involved. However, most product decisions are made with people who are key parts of the team and who are as invested and committed to the product as you are. In these situations, you have to invest in building long term relationships. Really understand the other person — think of this almost like building personas for your key stakeholders — what is their context, what drives them, what are they trying to accomplish, who are they trying to impress etc.? Understanding the angle they may be taking on any decision will help you influence appropriately. Having a long term relationship mind-set also means you don’t have to win every argument — you may have to give-in on things that don’t matter as much to you, but matter a lot to the other person. Having the maturity to understand this is important. Finally, be open to sharing credit — no one likes someone that hogs the limelight all the time. Pure human emotion.
5. Influencing is not about winning a debate — but you have to be prepared to speak up: Again, on the metaphor for influence through debate — hopefully the points above debunk the notion that influencing is all about who is more articulate, witty and persuasive. Having said that — being articulate, witty and persuasive clearly won’t hurt your cause. My key here is preparation. Clearly — if you’re leading a conversation, you need to be prepared on the points you want to make. However, even in situations where you’re a stakeholder in the room, and someone else is presenting — it is important to prepare your perspective and POVs in advance, and make sure you’re able to create room to get those out on the table.
6. Have thick skin and be resilient: Even after all of this, you won’t get your way all the time. It’s important to know which battles to pick — which hill you will die for, and which ones are important but won’t matter as much in the grand scheme of things. After a set-back, its important to pick yourself up and get back to work bringing your vision to life. Don’t be a sore loser, as it will impact your ability to get things done in the long term.

Ultimately, this is one of those squishy soft skills that you can’t learn in a book, or class (or even by reading this piece). You have to get out there everyday, have a point of view and figure out a way to line up resources and organizations behind you. Best of luck!

All views, opinions and statements are my own