Emotional Intelligence for Product Managers
Every time I navigate the ocean of Product Management frameworks, we are not tackling one essential part of our role: People and Ourselves. There is a framework for almost every stage of our Product development lifecycle, but one of the only transversal things is that we need people to make things happen.
Working with Emotional Intelligence
Daniel Goleman’s book has now +20 years, but it’s a timeless reminder of how vital Emotional Intelligence is to succeed in your career.
This article is not intended to be a book review, but I used the skills described in this bestseller to link them with our day-to-day Product Management life.
You can read more reviews and even buy the book with my affiliate link: https://amzn.to/3fXUY2P
1. Self-Regulation
Managing one’s internal impulses and resources.
1.1 Self-Control
Keeping disruptive emotions and impulses in check.
Our self-control is needed to cope with the many responsibilities we have.
Self-control can manifest in managing a tough meeting, not allowing ourselves to be hijacked by our negative emotions, and dealing with pressure.
Time management requires self-control, postponing or delegating trivial tasks that interfere with our work.
1.2 Trustworthiness
Maintaining standards of honesty and integrity.
One of the critical assets PMs need to have is credibility. We need to build trust with our actions, honor our word, and admit mistakes.
“Integrity -acting openly, honestly, and consistently- sets apart outstanding performers in jobs of every kind,” and for Product Managers, there is no exception.
Stakeholder management success depends on building trust, providing reliable information, and keeping them informed about any direction change. Every interaction we have with them is an opportunity to demonstrate our values and authenticity.
1.3 Conscientiousness
Taking responsibility for personal performance.
“People with this competence meet commitments and keep promises, hold themselves accountable for meeting their objectives, and are organized and careful in their work.”
There is nothing more I could add; this list summarizes what we need to aspire to have.
1.4 Adaptability
Flexibility in handling change.
Being able to handle multiple demands is a big part of our role. We need to shift between priorities, sometimes “interfering” with our roadmaps and plans, but the ability to adapt to this constant stream of changes is essential.
One of the things I like the most about Product Management is the possibility of new challenges, challenges that take us out of our comfort zone and are also an opportunity to learn new things and add them to our skillset.
In the light of new evidence, market opportunities, crisis, or strategy changes, we need to be flexible and adapt ourselves and our Product to these demands.
It can be painful initially, but I guarantee you that you will learn something new. Even if you realize you don’t like this new challenge you are facing, you will know at least what you don’t like.
1.5 Innovation
Being comfortable with novel ideas, approaches, and new information.
Change is the only constant. We have to develop an appetite for generating fresh ideas. Goleman says, “Creativity on the job revolves around applying new ideas to achieve results,” this is Product Management in essence.
Embrace diversity and give voice to every team member. You need to set up an environment where new ideas are welcome.
You have to present challenges to your team in detail. Everyone needs to understand the full picture; what do we want to achieve?. Some of the brightest ideas and more robust changes came from the team, not me.
Innovation implies risk, and we know many ways to minimize it, but there is nothing riskier than not having new ideas to test.
2. Social Skills
Adeptness and inducing desirable responses in others.
2.1 Influence
Wielding effective tactics for persuasion.
People with this competence:
- Are skilled at winning people over
- Fine-tune presentations to appeal to the listener
- Use complex strategies like indirect influence to build consensus and support
- Orchestrate dramatic events to effectively make a point
A good part of our job requires the exercise of influence.
In most Product organizations, PMs belong to an interdisciplinary team where we are not people’s “boss.” Although they are not our direct reports, we are accountable for the team’s performance and our Product.
I hardly imagine Product Managers with autocratic leadership thriving in this environment. Another kind of leadership and tactics might result in a better outcome. Appealing to reason and facts, building coalitions and consensus, emphasizing critical information, and leading by example will help you win people over and find promoters along your way.
As Albert Schweizer said, “Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing”.
Another aspect where this emotional intelligence manifests its cruciality is during presentations, whether to our team, colleagues, superiors, or the whole company.
Being able to anticipate people’s reactions to our message when preparing your presentations or even sensing their emotions while presenting will increase your confidence and send the right message appealing to your audience.
2.2 Communication
Listening openly and sending convincing messages.
People with this competence:
- Are effective in give-and-take, seeing emotional cues in attuning their message
- Deal with difficult issues straightforwardly
- Listen well, seek mutual understanding, and welcome sharing of information fully
- Foster open communication and stay receptive to bad news as well as good
You need to foster an open communication channel with your team members, colleagues, and superiors. Being open to receiving feedback about the Product you own and your performance can make a difference for yourself and others.
Listening well is also vital for asking the right questions. If you are part of customer interviews, this competence will help you better understand your customers' problems.
Sharing is caring; therefore, I encourage you to be as transparent as possible with your teams and colleagues. You might have received an urgent request that makes sense to you (after thinking it through). Still, listening well and asking the right questions will make it much easier for you to communicate the full picture, the reasons behind the request, and its importance.
2.3 Conflict management
Negotiating and resolving disagreements.
People with this competence:
- Handle difficult people and tense situations with diplomacy and tact
- Spot potential conflict, bring disagreements into the open, and help de-escalate
- Encourage debate and open discussion
- Orchestrate win-win solutions
You have probably faced (or are about to) conflict situations with peers, teams, or partners in your PM career. By conflict, I’m not implying heated arguments between people. However, it can happen; in my experience, the most common conflict situations are the Product of disagreements, misalignments, contradictory objectives, lack of support, wrong expectations, and change aversion.
People tend to avoid conflict, as we are afraid of damaging relationships and hurting others’ feelings. Each situation is different but always keep an open mind to understand the other point of view. We might be doing a change that affects another team’s objectives; people might feel threatened with a change that affects their job or just disagree with our ideas. You have to learn to manage every tense situation with professionalism, diplomacy, and tact.
Identifying all the moving pieces inside and outside the organization that can be affected by your decisions demonstrates that you have the full picture in mind and consider its impact and side effects. Proactively reaching people and teams that can be involved will help you avoid conflicts, or if the dispute arises, it will be in the early phases of your PM cycle. Although they might disagree, you avoid last-minute surprises and complaints by being involved. The initial discussions and debates will focus on solving the problem or getting the green light to experiment, learn, and share the results.
If no win-win situation can be reached, you can try “Disagree and Commit”:
Disagree and commit is a management principle which states that individuals are allowed to disagree while a decision is being made, but that once a decision has been made, everybody must commit to it. The principle can also be understood as a statement about when it is useful to have conflict and disagreement, with the principle saying disagreement is useful in early states of decision-making while harmful after a decision has been made.[1] Disagree and commit is a method of avoiding the consensus trap, in which the lack of consensus leads to inaction.
2.4 Leadership
Inspiring and guiding individuals and groups.
People with this competence:
- Articulate and arouse enthusiasm for a shared vision and mission
- Step forward to lead as needed, regardless of position
- Guide the performance of others while holding them accountable
- Lead by example
Product Management is leadership put into practice. There will be countless moments where your leadership skills will need to emerge and shine. Leadership will be exercised daily with your team, leading cross-functional initiatives, leading others PMs to accomplish a common goal, as Product Director (Product Leader in some companies) leading your teams to success, and more. You will gain leadership skills as you grow in your role, which will undoubtedly impact your career.
All the competencies mentioned in the book will help you become a better leader. You impact your team, those who work with and around you, and the Product’s performance.
Rolling up your sleeves to carry out work that helps the project you are working on, removing blockers, encouraging others to share
2.5 Change catalyst
Initiating or managing change.
People with this competence:
- Recognize the need for change and remove barriers
- Challenge the status quo to acknowledge the need for change
- Champion the change and enlist others in its pursuit
- Model the change expected of others
As Product Managers, we have to love change. It’s an inherent part of the role; companies hire us to lead the change — nobody would hire a PM to keep things as they are. PMs need to be outcome-oriented to understand (and discover) what changes could move the business forward and how to make change happen.
There are risks in every change, but not taking any action also has risks. You are part of a soon-to-be-disrupted industry. Your competition is moving faster than your company and products. There are changes in customer behavior you can’t anticipate or act upon them; governments apply new regulations restrictions to your business model, and more. These are examples of how not being prepared for change will lead to failure.
Your daily job is finding opportunities for doing things differently. Don’t only think about the typical product-improvement mindset. I’m going to take this for granted. You have to improve your Product. I repeat. You have to enhance your Product.
We are tempted by new features or following the next shiny thing (or dark mode) when changes in the way of working can have the same or even better benefits.
- Changing your team dynamics can boost team spirit and improve commitment.
- Changing the tech stack (the infamous refactors) can lead to faster development time and shorter release processes resulting in a shorter time to market — you can test more changes faster.
- Changing the way and frequency you and your colleagues share information can help find synergies sooner and remove blockers.
- Changing the mood in a presentation and organizing information differently can improve people’s attitudes and foster collaboration.
What else would you like to see change? Why are you waiting for others to change it? What prevents you from initiating change? Why don’t you start now?
2.6 Building bonds
Nurturing instrumental relationships.
People with this competence:
- Cultivate and maintain extensive informal networks
- Seek out relationships that are mutually benefitial
- Build rapport and keep others in the loop
- Make and maintain personal friendships among work associates
I love sayings and idioms because they hide common sense transferred from generation to generation. Here is one: You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
As PMs, we count on others to make things happen, but you get better results when others look forward to working with us. Some time ago, one of my team’s policies was: If you create a JIRA ticket, we have to meet each other. It was my way of knowing people when I joined the company, understanding better the request but ultimately knowing more about the person behind and their needs. Next time I needed support or had to ask for help or guidance, I already had someone in another team or department I could count on.
This mutual benefit relationship doesn’t hide Machiavellian behavior; it’s my true nature to know people, and I encourage you to pursue the same.
2.7 Collaboration & cooperation
Working with others toward shared goals.
People with this competence:
- Balance a focus on task with attention to relationships
- Collaborate, sharing plans, information, and resources
- Promote a friendly, cooperative climate
- Spot and nurture opportunities for collaboration
Many important pieces need to be in place to create a culture of collaboration.
Before anything else, reflect on your behavior. How well are you supporting others to achieve their goals? What’s your first reaction when support is needed (time, resources, workforce, etc.)? We all have our fights; we all have something to invest our efforts into, but are you considering the big picture? Are you proactively offering help? Are you spotting synergies and opportunities to develop things faster and better?
This behavior will impact the short term, making things move coordinately and faster. Your reputation will precede you, and when leading change, you will have more supporters along your way. We are more likely to help others that helped us (direct reciprocity), and we will help people that helped others (indirect reciprocity).
The second important point is having a local, group, or company-wide goal. People will help you, but they will also help the cause. If you perceive a lack of collaboration in your area, think about broadcasting the goals and roadmap to people around you. Do they know why you are doing what you are doing? Do they understand the importance it has for the company? Improving people's perception of your work will make them think twice when help is needed, realizing that supporting the cause will be for the greater good.
2.8 Team capabilities
Creating group synergy in pursuing collective goals.
People with this competence:
- Model team qualities with respect, helpfulness, and cooperation
- Draw all members into active and enthusiastic participation
- Build team identity, esprit de corps, and commitment
- Protect the group and its reputation; share credit
Part of the PM role is to develop high-performance teams, and for that to happen, you need to have always the team’s culture present. As leaders, it’s our job to create a sense of belonging in all your team members.
Your team needs to have a purpose and ownership, defining why your team exists and what you have to look after continuously. You can lead by example, support others, and create a culture of mutual support.
Remember that we are part of the team, and we are just another member with different skills; give voice to every team member and consider them in every aspect of your product management lifecycle. Much more can be achieved when everyone understands what we are trying to achieve and how our effort impacts us.
3. Motivation
Emotional tendencies that guide or facilitate reaching goals.
3.1 Achievement drive
Striving to improve or meet a standard of excellence.
If you want to succeed in your PM career, achievement drive is fundamental. Your focus should be on the outcome and impact our Product has on the business. Being results-oriented will help you prioritize your work and be vital for building a robust product roadmap with higher chances to have an impact.
Other pieces in this competence are setting challenging goals, taking calculated risks, and reducing uncertainty (gathering information and finding ways to do things better).
These abovementioned competencies have to resonate with your day to day work:
- Defining OKRs that are challenging enough to drive change;
- Base your decision making on data and insights that allow you to calculate risks — and potential impact;
- Splitting your product iterations into smaller pieces to gather information sooner and reduce uncertainty — the infamous MVP;
- and fostering ownership and accountability within your team, striving always to learn and improve.
3.2 Commitment
Aligning with goals of the group or organization.
As I write these lines, the world is under unprecedented changes due to a global pandemic. Most of you would agree that it is a perfect time to review your roadmap and think about how you can help the organization survive — or even thrive — during this crisis. But we don’t need a pandemic to realize that we need to be flexible and adapt ourselves and our Product to meet organizational needs.
This commitment can be shown by adapting ourselves to work in areas we are not familiar with, collaborating in high-priority initiatives, and sharing our team’s knowledge, expertise, and workforce to deliver solutions faster.
Finding a sense of purpose in what we ought to do is crucial and plays in our favor when communicating these needs to our team. People will understand the reasons behind this shift in “priorities” if you can clarify the available choices, the impact of those new actions, and how those align with the group’s core values.
Proactivity is also a competence we need to foster, actively listening where the company is struggling and thinking about how we can help — in every imaginable way — to overcome the obstacles that prevent the company from succeeding.
3.3 Initiative
Readiness to act on opportunities.
You need to be ready to seize new opportunities, even beyond what’s expected from you, breaking the silos and connecting the dots to make things happen.
Bending some rules might be needed to get the job done, and by this, I’m not saying you have to follow your gut feelings blindly. If you have a strong case supported with data and a little bit of intuition, go after it.
“You’ve got to crack a few eggs to make an omelet.”
3.4 Optimism
Persistence in pursuing goals despite obstacles and setbacks.
Optimism allows us to have perseverance when faced with obstacles and setbacks. Those obstacles and setbacks are an opportunity to learn, understand what can be improved next time, and consider what we need to consider in our next attempt.
Different sources mention that the AB testing success rate falls between 10%-15%. Your optimism will determine what you will do with the “failing” 90%.
How will you motivate your team to iterate? What’s the central learning from your experiment? How will you transform those learnings into better-informed changes? How will you cope with frustration if things don’t go as expected?
4. Empathy
Awareness of other’s feelings, needs, and concerns.
4.1 Understanding others
Sensing others’ feelings and perspectives, and taking active interest in their concerns.
People with this competence:
- Are attentive to emotional cues and listen well
- Show sensitivity and understand others’ perspectives,
- Help out based on understanding other people’s needs and feelings
Understanding others is needed daily. We constantly interact with people, and we need to read their emotions and feelings.
When working with your team, every meeting is an opportunity to understand their perspectives. During a session, one engineer's poker face can hide disagreement with the direction the team is taking. A good question at that moment can help receive valuable information that she might be reluctant to express, but her point of view could help switch directions — even before starting.
Besides being helpful working with your team daily, understanding others is also important for stakeholder management, alignments between different groups, negotiations with partners, and a better relationship with your superiors.
We also don’t have to forget that as PMs, we also have to understand our customers. It’s not only a UX task. The more we understand their feelings and preoccupations, the easier it will be for us to design solutions.
4.2 Developing others
Sensing others’ development needs and bolstering their abilities.
I’ve been coaching people transitioning into Product Management from different areas in the past two years. It’s one of the most rewarding experiences I have ever had. Coaching is an excellent opportunity to share your knowledge, review your toolset, and refresh topics you don’t regularly work with. These interactions also allow you to see different parts of the company, broadening your organization’s knowledge.
Working with your team, you need to be able to identify each individual’s strengths to recognize them and encourage them to improve their skillset. Think about how you can help them excel in any area they are interested in. Suppose one engineer wants to improve his presentation skills. In that case, you can help him by giving him more opportunities to present, first within the team, later with the area, and even to the whole company if possible. Imagine how satisfying it will be for him to master a new skill having your support. Even if you don’t consider yourself an expert, help people connect with other people who can support them.
4.3 Service orientation
Anticipating, recognizing, and meeting customers’ needs.
People with this competence:
- Understand customers’ needs and match them to services or products.
- Seek ways to increase customers’ satisfaction and loyalty.
- Gladly offer appropiate assitance.
- Grasp a customer’s perspective, acting as a trusted advisor.
As PMs, we need to advocate for our customers’ success. If they find a solution to their problem using our Product, you can feel recomforted that you impacted people’s lives. Working in an organization, we also have to look after other types of customers: our colleagues.
In the modern organization, everyone has ‘customers.’ Any colleague we need to assist or whose needs ur own job affects is a client of sorts. Star performers go out of their way to make themselves available to server their clientes, especially during crucial times.
4.4 Leveraging diversity
Cultivating opportunities through different kinds of people.
AZ Quotes
The most significant accomplishments we had as a team were thanks to diversity. It’s the combination of our past experiences, different backgrounds, and ways of seeing life that create a unique mix that makes us better. The sum is greater than the parts.
I’m not even thinking about gender, race, sexual orientation, religion, or politics. If you are still concerned about these topics, there is much more you need to learn than Product Management skills.
Beware of falling into stereotype traps. Every person is different regardless of their origins. Having biases toward ethnicities or skills (e.g., all developers are introverted) won’t help you discover the enriching power of diversity.
4.5 Political awareness
Reading a group’s emotional currents and power relationships.
People with this competence:
- Accurately read key power relationships.
- Detect crucial social networks.
- Understand the forces that shape views and actions of clients, customers, or competitors.
- Accurately read organizational and external realities.
Product Management is the art of making the right things happen.
For these things to happen, you need to detect the inner forces that dominate your environment.
Workplace politics vary from company to company. It’s your job to understand how you can use politics in your favor.
5. Self-Awareness
Knowing one’s internal states, preferences, resources
and intuitions.
5.1 Emotional awareness
Recognizing one’s emotions and their effects.
PMs can be under a lot of stress as many responsibilities are on our shoulders, and we are accountable for the performance of our Product — and the company’s success.
Stress can make us behave in a different way than we would typically do. We can end up putting the team under pressure impacting its performance, damaging our relationship with stakeholders and colleagues, and in the end, affecting our reputation and how the organization perceives us.
“Our feelings affect those we deal with.”
Even without stress, we need to recognize our emotions to understand where they are coming from and address them in the best possible way to avoid them interfering in our work life — and personal.
5.2 Accurate Self-assessment
Knowing one’s inner resources, abilities, and limits.
“Being blind to our problem areas can put our career at risk,” says Goleman. I wouldn’t personally put them as problem areas but as opportunity areas that you can improve.
If you have conflicts within your team, ask for advice, recognize that others can handle the situation differently, and always try new approaches. Everything we have learned can be unlearnt.
Be open to receiving feedback, ask for it (start with colleagues you feel closer with), and accept this new information as if it were recent valuable Product feedback.
It’s only by knowing your improvement areas that you can create a plan to enhance your skills.
5.3 Self-confidence
A strong sense of one’s self-worth and capabilities.
Without self-confidence, it will be almost impossible to sell an idea to your team, stakeholders, or top management. Such self-confidence is practically mandatory to be heard and convey your message without interferences.
Your idea might be backed up with data, user research, and technology, but different opinions will almost undoubtedly confront you. It’s your presence and determination that will get you more followers than detractors.
This self-confidence also includes being able to challenge others and speak out when you see the direction the team, area, or company is taking might not be the best. Of course, you shouldn’t confuse self-confidence with arrogance.
Recognize what you are worth and contribute to the greater good by confidently communicating your ideas; this distinguishes leaders.
